Goodbye

Dear Celie,

Before your mind goes to a scary place and you delete this, it’s me. It’s Violet.

I don’t have much time before I need to get going—I want to be out before midnight—so I’m going to try to get all of this out as quickly and coherently as possible.

You already know half of what I’m going to tell you. Your readers certainly know. We all know that you’re the Witness, Celie. Once you admit it, you can embrace it. And once you embrace it, more things like Christmas Eve can happen.

I know that your instinct as a journalist is to ask why, but you can’t. There is no why, Celie. There’s not even a how with him. He doesn’t play by our rules. My dreams gave me perspective I didn’t know I had. I’ve had an epiphany that makes the Book of Revelations look like somebody finally finding their car keys.

You said in the days after Zero Hour (after your birthday, that is) that those fighters were braver than you could ever hope to be. You even posted it on your blog. That’s not true. That’s not even close to true. You’re brave, too.

I know, because your own bravery is keeping me alive.

Hear me out. Do you remember that first night you saw him, in Rose’s bedroom? Do you remember what you did? You were faced with him closer than nearly anyone can bear who hasn’t been exposed to him gradually. Anyone would’ve run away or gone crazy, and what did you do? You put yourself between him and Rose. You shielded her for that night. It was the same thing you did for the little boy on Christmas Eve, and you didn’t even know you did it.

He hates you, Celie. You can sense him. You see him before he sees you. If he has the capacity to hate, he hates you. He can’t just kill you—I don’t know why, but he can’t bring himself to. It may be because he sees the value in you. As much as he hates you, he wants you on his side. Or it may be because you have a part to play that’s beyond him. We can’t let ourselves dwell on why.

I’m leaving. You’ve no doubt figured it out by now. I decided just before I came back, but I couldn’t leave for your birthday and Christmas. I only told Riley a couple of days ago—otherwise, he would’ve told you. I’m not headed anywhere in particular. I have friends along the way, and where I don’t, I have a good amount of money stored away. As it turns out, my parents had kind of been planning for me to go on a big road trip since freshman year of high school when I told them I wanted to study art. They don’t know what’s really going on. They think I’m just being predictable.

I’ll head south, first, I guess, and then west. Eventually I’ll circle back around. Your mom said I’m always welcome at her place when I come back down to Baltimore, if I don’t want to stay at home.

This isn’t defeat. It’s just another phase of fighting, I think. I’m not giving up, and I know you aren’t, either. Willpower, Celie. Why do you think Zeke and Ulryc and those HYBRID boys are still alive? It’ll keep us alive, too. Don’t give up. Even when I’m not here, don’t give up. We’ll keep each other safe even if it’s from a distance.

But don’t make the mistake, even for a minute, of thinking you’re invincible. He can’t hurt you now—tomorrow that may change. And unlike him, these Hallowed do play by our rules. They can probably handle themselves in a fight. Or with a knife. Hell, they’re the biggest part of why I’m leaving. So don’t be a hero.

And this is the most important part: Don’t let this take over. Keep writing. Keep blogging. Forget community college—apply to Miskatonic like you’ve wanted to since junior year. You don’t have time to waste, Celie. There is life after disaster; make yours count.

Since I’m posting this on the blog for your readers to see (I know you’d post it verbatim to them anyway), I’d like to directly address two people: Zeke and Ulryc.

Zeke, you first. Obviously, I’m not going to be around anymore. Allie tries, bless her, but I don’t think she can fully understand what’s happening. Celie’s gone from having me and Rose and Bri and everyone else, to having almost no one who she can confide in, except her readers. Don’t get me wrong here—she loves all of her readers, especially the commenters—but she’s always had a special place for you two. You represent survival to her, and for a while, Zeke, you were the only one outside of us who seemed to give a damn that we were in trouble. She knows you. She’ll listen to you. Take care of her, Zeke. For me. Or if not for me, then for her.

Now, Ulryc, if for any reason Zeke fails, the responsibility of helping Celie falls directly upon you and the other readers. She’s stubborn, doesn’t think things through all the time, and her chronic skepticism makes her a little slow on the uptake with some of the things in Slender territory (Sorry, C, but it’s true).

Watch over her, guys. She’ll contest you and say she doesn’t need anybody’s help, but she does. We all do. We need to stick together in this. A war can’t be won without allies.

I love you, Celie. You and Rose were the sisters I never had. I’m proud to say that I know you, that I knew her.

Survival is our victory. Don’t waste that victory preparing for the next battle. But don't grow complacent either. Those Hallowed are still out there.

Everything is going to change now. We’ll be happy again someday, I promise. But we’ve got to keep fighting.

All my love,
Violet

P.S. - Change your password. Her name was way too easy to guess. And you used the same number as always.