Tuesday, September 20, 2011

The Anniversary & The End

Last Tuesday was the anniversary of Rose's disappearance. It's difficult to imagine now that she has been gone from my life for that long. I thought about posting here, but instead I decided to take some time and really think about it.

I still miss her. I miss her like hell, actually. She was the joy of my life for a long while. She and I helped each other with everything. We talked about boys. We supported each other. She helped me through the ordeals with Angel.

And when she needed me, I failed. If I'd had faith in her, if I'd believed her when she said something was wrong, would she still have been taken?

I suppose it's useless to ask now, when all I have of her is the ghost in my dreams.

It was a gruelling ten-hour drive from Maryland to Massachusetts, which we made in a practical caravan, my car in front and my dad with his truck and all my stuff behind. He insisted on helping me move, saying that I couldn't expect to drive back and forth like I did for Ocean City.

The Haven will be left in Violet's hands for the time being. She'll be keeping me in touch with all the goings-on. There is no one more qualified to guard it.

As for me, I'm three weeks into my classes at Miskatonic and loving every minute. My professors are mostly fantastic, and the people in the dorms even more so. My own roommate, Lisa, and I don't really see eye to eye, but that's more of a personality difference.

Then there's Soren. He lives two floors down from me and he's in my acting class. We were paired up for one of the small projects so far and we really hit it off, as it were. He's got a fantastic sense of humor that's just like mine, and he loves movies like me. He's an excellent listener and seems really interested in what I say, and I'm fascinated by all the things he has to bring to conversation.

My life is back on track ... except for the incident before I left for school, things are pretty normal. Because of that, I've made a decision.

I'm not going to be posting here anymore.

I hate looking at my archive and being reminded of everything that's happened in the last year. I don't want to keep reliving it like it's part of some sick fantasy. I want to start anew. Even if I can't forget ... that doesn't mean I want to remember.

I can't look back just because my past taps me on the shoulder or grabs my attention in my dreams. I need to look forward.

Then again, I do love having you guys to talk to. And sometimes I feel like there's some higher being forcing me to keep coming back and writing down what I think and feel -- call it my own personal obsessive compulsion.

So I'll be making a new blog. A new blog for a new life. Other than examining my aunt's book, I won't let anything hold me back from living.

Here's to a better year, you guys.

I think it's gonna be fantastic.

11 comments:

  1. Best of luck to you. May your demons be damned and your future be bright.

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  2. They always come back....

    But I wish you luck. <3

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  3. Wish ya luck.

    Also,
    inb4 new blog takes a turn for the worst.

    Just saying.

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  4. Good luck. I wish you nothing but happiness.

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  5. nOT deAd
    noT dEAd
    bUt cERtAIN lY NoT aLiVE
    ////

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  6. It's better to get off this site. Less chance of Him finding you.

    The rest of you would to good to follow in her foot steps. Remember, don't lose hope, and keep moving forward. That's all you need to defeat Him.

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  7. It appears that a lot of people stopped posting mid-late 2011. I haven't seen a lot of new blogs either.

    Are we dwindling?

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  8. Look forward, but keep your ears listening.

    Uncanny Valley is never more than three feet away at any time.
    He may not have eyes, but He sees.

    Enjoy Miskatonic. But stay alert.

    Stay alive.

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  9. Well, so much for the new blog...

    -Rose

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  10. sorry, but your screwd. that universtiy is where they have some of the biological experiments involved in these things, and the proffessors are nigh obsessed with things like slendi and proxies and the rake and whatnot, you should brobably take some acid and magnesium from one of the labs, thats the only way your gonna survive that, sorry, hope you come back posting that I was full of crap, I really do, thats the only way I'm ever gonna hear from you again

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