Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Simple Report #2 & a Few More Observations

Today, I thought I was doing so well. As always, I couldn't go an hour without thinking about Rose, but I managed to get through the first half of work without dwelling on Slender shit or Violet's situation. Then, during my smoke break, I caught myself drawing an Operator symbol with the ashes of my cigarette.

Two steps forward, one step back. Seems to be a recurring theme these days.

Violet and Riley had a fight yesterday. He's been pestering her day and night to make sure she's safe, checking in on what she's doing and where she's going. She says that at first it made her feel better, but now it makes her feel like he's less her boyfriend than her parole officer. I spoke to her today on the phone. I can't say how it's affecting her pen theory, but I can say that she had a wicked cough. I encouraged her to see things from his perspective, that he was only acting this way because he cared so much. Hopefully they'll be all good by the weekend.

Father Kelly called me today. I haven't really mentioned it, but since that night at the church, he's been a huge help to me. I've started going to church again, though I must admit that it's more out of a sense of reciprocity than anything; he's been such a comfort that I'm kind of obliged to go, even on the days when I'm not feeling very believery. Then again, I was always reluctant to believe anyway.

Which leads me to a rather crucial point (okay, not really, but I'm going there anyway; forced segue, for the win!). Father Kelly doesn't know all the details about what's going on; he'd probably have me committed if I told him about it, so I've stuck to making veiled metaphors like "personal demons" and other sorts of things. He pointed out to me that I've been referring to this "personal demon" so much that it sounds almost like I've forgotten there's a good side (that is, God, and other...stuff. He can be maddeningly vague sometimes.) to counter it.

And he's right. Sometimes it does get extremely difficult to remember that there's any good left in the world at all.

Maybe that could be a key step in fighting him -- Violet's Constant Theory may be an unwitting branch of a larger concept. The part that really makes her pen effective (at least, as far as she is concerned; perception is still an issue here) is that she recognizes that for all the evil that the Slender Man represents, perhaps the ultimate evil, is countered by her own personal ultimate good, Riley. The fact that she's fighting with Riley right now -- and the implications of her cough getting worse -- could be seen as proof of that theory.

And while we're doing all this theorizing, I keep waiting to see him around every corner. I've even started thinking about what I'll do if it happens. Father Kelly gave me a rosary a couple of days after that night at the church. He told me that the next time I felt lost, to think of it like a compass. I've chosen that as my Constant, should the need for it arise.

I figure it's probably a good idea to put my faith in God rather than in a guy, no matter what my doubts have been. After all, a man can fail. I can become disenchanted or disappointed with a man. Or he can die. God can be an ideal, and ideals tend not to lose their luster over time. At least, let's hope not.


  1. The fact that it's been almost a month and a half without another sighting is comfort enough. After he took Rose,I half-expected him to be stalking you day and night, but from the looks of it he hasn't shown up at all since then. I don't know whether this should comfort or worry myself, but for you I'd take it as relief.

    Was there a follow up on Rose's car, any leads? I was hoping there'd be some by now.

  2. There was, indeed, an investigation. The missing persons report is technically still open, but I think you'll be just as unsurprised as me to hear that they didn't, and still haven't, found any more leads to my knowledge. Well, except one thing: there were traces of ashes on the center console and smeared on some places on the seats, almost like people had been smoking cigarettes, but Rose had a strict no smoking rule in her car.

    Rose's mother has been...well, I don't want to call it denial -- one person's denial is another's hope, and I've been hesitant to admit some things to myself, too -- but she's been very, very optimistic about the search, and calls the police at least once every day or couple of days to check for leads, or give them any information she thinks is valuable. We've kept in touch, but I'm rather ashamed to admit I still can't look her in the eye when she says there's still hope. I just can't. Is that wrong? Should I tell her what really happened? I feel like it would just make matters worse for her...

  3. One of the old stories connected him to fire, but otherwise I dunno what to tell you about that...I'll have to think about that one.

    Telling her is a choice up to you. There's always that risk, either they don't believe you, or they end up like Damien's ex-girlfriend. And if her mental state is not in a good place, then telling her that an eight-foot-tall faceless man in a suit that has ten arms stole her daughter might be what breaks her. You need to be careful if you do. There's no easy scenario for that.