Right. Sorry about last night's post, but between calling Violet and my family wanting to be all mushy and together (for once), I didn't have much down time.
Now that it's Christmas and all the gift-giving is over (full account of the awesome stuff I got later), I have a few minutes to get this down.
My brother and his family came up to my mother's place in the city to visit for Christmas (every year, we have Christmas Eve-as-Christmas down there, and then real Christmas at my dad's). As well as them, my mom's friend Donnie came over with his dog, Ziggy, who is totally in love with my mom's dog, Phoenix. It was pretty joyous, albeit cramped with all those people and the dogs in the little rowhouse. Around the middle of the day, we decided to take the dogs and bundle up the kids and go down to the park near Donnie's house to play.
We weren't the only ones with the idea; there were a couple of other families there, and we shared holiday pleasantries and the kids played together while we ate the bit of transportable food we brought with us. I'd already asked Desmond about Kayleigh, and he said that he hadn't noticed anything suspicious, but I still managed to ask her about it, in a roundabout way -- asking whether she'd made any new friends, been drawing any different pictures, that sort of thing -- and, thank God, she came up clear.
I almost had my guard down when that feeling crept back up on me.
"What's wrong, Aunt Celie?" I heard vaguely from one of the kids -- was it Ashton? -- as I stumbled back a little.
"I'm fine, sweetheart," I managed to choke out.
I looked around, trying to spot him. I did -- he was under a tree in the middle of the park, near a fence containing a small baseball diamond. At first, I nearly panicked, thinking he was after one of Des's kids, but then I realized that he had his eye -- you know, metaphorically speaking -- on one of the others there, a little boy about ten. I saw the kid see him, and start walking over. He was a fish on the line.
I told the family I'd be right back, and then started walking over as well. No way was I just going to let this slide like before, when I was at work; had I forfeited the kids in the SUV to him? I couldn't let the question rise with this one.
Neither kid nor Man noticed me at first. I had to do something, but what? The little boy was getting closer...I didn't have much time --
"Hey!"
I didn't even think about it, didn't even know which one it was directed to, but in a way, it worked. He looked at me, breaking his concentration on the boy. The kid blinked a few times, screamed, and ran back to his parents. As for him -- he just looked at me.
For a good long while, we stood like that. He was angry -- I could feel it in the air, a sudden tensing that made it hard to move or even breathe. Even though he was standing still, he looked like he was moving; he looked amorphous, as though the surface of him itself were a live thing. For a minute, I felt the mix of comfort and terror that the boy had just known.
I'm not afraid of you, I forced myself to think. It wasn't true. But hey, fake it till you make it, right? So I repeated it in my head, directed right toward him. I'm not afraid of you. I'm not afraid of you.
He was gone before I realized what had happened, disappeared in the same way he'd done before, in that same manner that made me unsure whether or not he was even there in the first place.
"Celie?" my mother called. I walked back to them. I looked at the family of the boy; he was still crying, and they were packing up to leave.
The rest of the day passed slowly. I tried my best to act as though nothing had happened, but I think they sensed something was wrong.
Desmond and the family accompanied us back up to our dad's, since my mom didn't have space for all of them.
This raises questions, and only answers some of them. Did Zero's plan work? Not completely. But I think it did enough. I think he may be weaker; how else could I be able to fend him off of that boy?
Or maybe it's not because of them at all. I'm starting to think that maybe I am the Witness. I'm still not convinced, but I was thinking about what you said, Baibre -- and then that made me think of the day we found Mary-Ann Compton in the woods. I caught her as she fell (I still have scars on my arm), I was an active participant, but I still had to fill out a witness report. A witness is not necessarily passive. It makes me feel a little more confident about the whole thing. But like I said, I'm still unsure.
Either way, the fact that he's weakened is a very good thing. It could be that the very thing that's strengthened him -- the information age -- is the very same thing that could kill him. The more people who know about him, the more people can fight him. If he is alive, he can die. Good on you, Zero and Nightcrawler. You guys broke the seal. Now we're gonna break the door wide open.
Merry Christmas, guys. I think it's gonna be a hell of a New Year.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Friday, December 24, 2010
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Birthday
You know what tomorrow/today is, internet? My birthday. As of a half an hour ago, I'm nineteen.
And you know what my first present has been?
Violet and I haven't seen him even once over the weekend, and we spent most of our time together. She's laughing again. She said that she and Riley made up, for the most part.
At the risk of jinxing it...well, I just have a good feeling. Like something big is going to happen. Not bad big, but good big. Maybe now that Violet and I (after a bit of celebrating -- it is Christmas and my birthday this week, after all) are getting down to business, we'll start getting more pieces of the puzzle.
I'll discuss comments on my last post at a later time. For now...well, I think I speak for both Violet and myself when I say: We're enjoying the little things. Like peach schnapps, clove cigarettes and turning nineteen.
And you know what my first present has been?
Violet and I haven't seen him even once over the weekend, and we spent most of our time together. She's laughing again. She said that she and Riley made up, for the most part.
At the risk of jinxing it...well, I just have a good feeling. Like something big is going to happen. Not bad big, but good big. Maybe now that Violet and I (after a bit of celebrating -- it is Christmas and my birthday this week, after all) are getting down to business, we'll start getting more pieces of the puzzle.
I'll discuss comments on my last post at a later time. For now...well, I think I speak for both Violet and myself when I say: We're enjoying the little things. Like peach schnapps, clove cigarettes and turning nineteen.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
End of Semester
Today, we had our first big snow. Naturally, I had to be out on assignment when it got into full swing, so I got to navigate my poor Jeep through idiots in traffic and up my unplowed road and driveway (I hate living in the middle of nowhere. So much, and in so many ways.).
But that's not the real news. The real news is that the semester at MICA ends tomorrow, and Violet is coming home. I guess that's when we'll find out her choice as to whether to leave or not, although she has promised me that she'll stay at least until Christmas either way. I'm reasonably assured that she's staying; if she wasn't, she would've told Riley, and he would've told me. I think. I hope.
And I haven't seen him since my last post. I just thought I'd let inquiring minds know, I suppose.
In other news, it's happened again that a few comments caught my eye this time around, and I'd like to give my input.
First things first: Anon suggested that I may have become perceptive enough to see him without him being after me. Then Baibre said that I could be the Witness that was referenced in Rose's ramblings and her note. The second Anon seemed also willing to support this theory.
The idea that I'm the Witness...well, honestly, it seems like a plausible theory, but I'm not going to buy into it just yet. It's fully possible that there's a side of this we're not seeing yet. I may be a journalist, but I hate the idea that I have to watch from the outside and I'm helpless to do anything. But...well, as you'll see below, it's a lot easier to swallow than the alternative.
Zeke...I know, I know, I know exactly how abnormal this is for him. I've read your experience, I've read half a dozen others. I've never read a single thing about him ever just leaving someone alone when that someone could see him. I don't understand. I hate it. There is no definitive reference; there are only accounts of what's happened to people, and everybody has a different story. Every time somebody thinks they've scored a goal, he changes the game. Maybe this is just another trick he's always had up his sleeve.
Which brings me to Neena and Kite. Like you said, maybe he is just toying with me. It wouldn't be the first time he's played mind games.
As for what you two suggest about working for him...no. Just no. I refuse to consider it. I can't. I just...I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'll keep it as an explanation of last resort, but...Yeah, no.
So, readers, there you are. Today's post was short, and I apologize, but odds are that with Violet here, longer posts are bound to show up. Tomorrow I'm going Christmas shopping with Nikki and Milo; hopefully, it'll be almost normal.
But that's not the real news. The real news is that the semester at MICA ends tomorrow, and Violet is coming home. I guess that's when we'll find out her choice as to whether to leave or not, although she has promised me that she'll stay at least until Christmas either way. I'm reasonably assured that she's staying; if she wasn't, she would've told Riley, and he would've told me. I think. I hope.
And I haven't seen him since my last post. I just thought I'd let inquiring minds know, I suppose.
In other news, it's happened again that a few comments caught my eye this time around, and I'd like to give my input.
First things first: Anon suggested that I may have become perceptive enough to see him without him being after me. Then Baibre said that I could be the Witness that was referenced in Rose's ramblings and her note. The second Anon seemed also willing to support this theory.
The idea that I'm the Witness...well, honestly, it seems like a plausible theory, but I'm not going to buy into it just yet. It's fully possible that there's a side of this we're not seeing yet. I may be a journalist, but I hate the idea that I have to watch from the outside and I'm helpless to do anything. But...well, as you'll see below, it's a lot easier to swallow than the alternative.
Zeke...I know, I know, I know exactly how abnormal this is for him. I've read your experience, I've read half a dozen others. I've never read a single thing about him ever just leaving someone alone when that someone could see him. I don't understand. I hate it. There is no definitive reference; there are only accounts of what's happened to people, and everybody has a different story. Every time somebody thinks they've scored a goal, he changes the game. Maybe this is just another trick he's always had up his sleeve.
Which brings me to Neena and Kite. Like you said, maybe he is just toying with me. It wouldn't be the first time he's played mind games.
As for what you two suggest about working for him...no. Just no. I refuse to consider it. I can't. I just...I wouldn't be able to handle it. I'll keep it as an explanation of last resort, but...Yeah, no.
So, readers, there you are. Today's post was short, and I apologize, but odds are that with Violet here, longer posts are bound to show up. Tomorrow I'm going Christmas shopping with Nikki and Milo; hopefully, it'll be almost normal.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Have I got News for You Guys.
I saw him. Today.
Before you panic and reach for the nearest weapon (looking at you, Zeke), let me explain. You guys will shit when you hear this.
He wasn't looking at me.
I was working at Wawa today (gotta make money for Christmas shopping, which, despite my normal dislike of it, is proving to be a comfortingly normal experience) when it happened. Around noon, I started feeling it again -- the same feeling I described to you guys before, the one from my dreams. The feeling like things had just plummeted right into the Uncanny Valley. I looked around the store, and then out at the fuel court.
He was standing just off the parking lot on the right hand side of the property, on the grass next to a tree. I saw him at a sort of three-quarter view, which is how I knew he wasn't focused on me. He was looking at a dark green SUV parked at pump four. My heart started to race. Squinting a little, I could make out the silhouettes of two kids in the backseat, play-fighting with each other. I felt like I was going to be sick.
I didn't know what to do. Should I help them? Even if I tried, could I? I was thirty seconds into weighing my options when he vanished. He disappeared, just like he did that fateful night.
The feeling stopped, but the nausea and the feeling like I was on the verge of bursting into tears certainly stuck around. I made an excuse to my manager ("I think I'm getting a cold, I probably shouldn't be up at register, I'll freak out the customers") and had him move me to coffee, all the way at the back of the store. Before I went back, I turned to Jordan, one of the girls who works with me.
"Did you see that?" I asked her.
"See what?" she said. "You staring like a loony and ignoring the lady at your register? Yeah."
She laughed. I didn't.
"No, you didn't see over there?" I pointed at the place he'd been standing.
"I see a tree over there." She shrugged and laughed again. I think she was humoring me.
I think I speak for all parties involved when I say:
What the royal fuck is going on with me?
I've read accounts of Slender Man. I researched this like only journalists know how to research. I've gotten as much information as I can stand. He watches his victims for weeks -- possibly months. He goes after kids. He shows up on camera, but other than that, he's invisible to normals.
Let me say that again, a little clearer: only his victims should be able to see him.
Does that mean he's coming after me? Does it mean I need to start watching my every move more closely? I'm hypervigilant as is -- I've caught myself checking for exits whenever I enter a room. When I got home today, I closed my curtains, curled up under my bed, and clutched my rosary. I stayed like that for hours.
Even if he will eventually come after me, should I have seen him going after somebody else? Violet hadn't seen him before he took Rose. If I just knew what this meant, I wouldn't be so freaked out. I'm calling Violet.
And I'll be keeping my eye out from now on.
Before you panic and reach for the nearest weapon (looking at you, Zeke), let me explain. You guys will shit when you hear this.
He wasn't looking at me.
I was working at Wawa today (gotta make money for Christmas shopping, which, despite my normal dislike of it, is proving to be a comfortingly normal experience) when it happened. Around noon, I started feeling it again -- the same feeling I described to you guys before, the one from my dreams. The feeling like things had just plummeted right into the Uncanny Valley. I looked around the store, and then out at the fuel court.
He was standing just off the parking lot on the right hand side of the property, on the grass next to a tree. I saw him at a sort of three-quarter view, which is how I knew he wasn't focused on me. He was looking at a dark green SUV parked at pump four. My heart started to race. Squinting a little, I could make out the silhouettes of two kids in the backseat, play-fighting with each other. I felt like I was going to be sick.
I didn't know what to do. Should I help them? Even if I tried, could I? I was thirty seconds into weighing my options when he vanished. He disappeared, just like he did that fateful night.
The feeling stopped, but the nausea and the feeling like I was on the verge of bursting into tears certainly stuck around. I made an excuse to my manager ("I think I'm getting a cold, I probably shouldn't be up at register, I'll freak out the customers") and had him move me to coffee, all the way at the back of the store. Before I went back, I turned to Jordan, one of the girls who works with me.
"Did you see that?" I asked her.
"See what?" she said. "You staring like a loony and ignoring the lady at your register? Yeah."
She laughed. I didn't.
"No, you didn't see over there?" I pointed at the place he'd been standing.
"I see a tree over there." She shrugged and laughed again. I think she was humoring me.
I think I speak for all parties involved when I say:
What the royal fuck is going on with me?
I've read accounts of Slender Man. I researched this like only journalists know how to research. I've gotten as much information as I can stand. He watches his victims for weeks -- possibly months. He goes after kids. He shows up on camera, but other than that, he's invisible to normals.
Let me say that again, a little clearer: only his victims should be able to see him.
Does that mean he's coming after me? Does it mean I need to start watching my every move more closely? I'm hypervigilant as is -- I've caught myself checking for exits whenever I enter a room. When I got home today, I closed my curtains, curled up under my bed, and clutched my rosary. I stayed like that for hours.
Even if he will eventually come after me, should I have seen him going after somebody else? Violet hadn't seen him before he took Rose. If I just knew what this meant, I wouldn't be so freaked out. I'm calling Violet.
And I'll be keeping my eye out from now on.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Comments & Mushy Stuff
It's been over a week since I last posted, and that's pretty much my fault. Sometimes it gets really hard for me to even convince myself to get up and do stuff anymore. But enough about my wangst.
My last post got a bunch of comments, and some of them were making suggestions and saying other fun and exciting things. I didn't want to make a huge comment in response (Don't comments have character limits? Oh, who cares?), so I figured I'd dedicate some of this post to going down the list.
Zeke Strahm said...
I'd recommend some music for you, but I never really broke out of that So-Cal punk faze...I still stand by what I always told Lizzie, that that was the only music category that still put out some halfway decent music.
Nightmares...just another thing you live with in this line of existance. Bad part about it is, you get used to them. Good part is they eventually get less painful over time because of it.
I've never really been into the So-Cal stuff, myself. But the nightmares are more troubling. I'm already used to normal ones, but it's the fact that this feeling keeps cropping up randomly, in places it shouldn't be.
Anonymous said...
I've been reading your blog for a while now and I have a few theories.
Granted my experience is with a different paranormal stalker I tend to call "Big Bad" but I think it works the same as SM.
The only resource you have to your disposal is the notebook. I would suggest starting there. It could hold invaluable information and clues.
A good protection spell I've learned to fight BB is to visualize yourself in a bubble. It sounds dumb but it's kept BB just out of reaching me more times than not.
Another way is to find a silver trinket, something that calls to you. Soak it in salt water, during a full moon would be best. Though you might have access to real holy water and that would work better than the salt water. Keep it on your person and it will protect you.
The key is that you need to believe for this to work to it's fullest.
Protect yourself and read the notebook.
Anon 1, you bring up some interesting ideas. I'm sorry to hear about your "Big Bad" (Way to be a dedicated troper, by the way. High five.); it looks like I'm finding more and more people in the same boat as I am, and I don't know about you, but it makes me feel a little warm-fuzzier to know that Vi and I aren't alone.
I know that the notebook is important somehow. I can feel it. But you guys have to understand...every time I even get close to that thing, every alarm in my head starts blaring. I feel that wrong feeling again, and I think about Logan Renault and what could happen if I saw the evidence of my best friend slowly losing a battle with our friend the Operator. Maybe I am supposed to look in it -- but I can't. Not yet, anyway. You guys have been so amazing...I just need you to be patient with this one.
I won't lie to you, Anon 1 -- Allie and I had a good giggle over your Bubble Method, and if Vi had been speaking to me at the time, I'm sure she would have as well. Be that as it may, it does sound promising. I'll share it with Vi and make sure she applies it as well as her Constant (yes, despite some evidence against it she's still carrying around that pen. She's made it into a necklace, actually).
I don't know about silver, but the rosary that Father Kelly gave me certainly calls to me at this point. Ever since I decided that it would be my Constant in the event that I suddenly find my world even more Slender than it is now, I've been keeping it on me, and I've gotten into the habit of sometimes playing with it when I'm bored or alone. As for soaking it in anything, I don't know about that, since it would probably weaken the string holding the beads together. Besides, it's a fucking rosary -- a saint medal and a crucifix and prayer beads. I don't think it's gonna get much holier, bro.
UlrycZ said...
I offer not words of comfort, as I have none that I can offer at the moment. However, I do offer a.. a shoulder to cry on, I suppose. An ear to listen to you talk... That sort of thing.
Also, I agree with the person who does not reveal his identity. There might be something important in that notebook, though it might be wise to settle down some, as you well know that things have been stressful.
Anonymous said...
I am so sorry for what you have to go through. None of us can know what you are going through. I won't lie and say I know how you feel. But I can say that I'm here. I know I'm just a random stranger on the internet, but you can always unload on us.
~Luna
Averyel said...
I'm here for you. I haven't lost anyone yet, and I might be soon losing myself, but I'd like to help as best I can.
I think of it as having cancer- you'd didn't ask for it, it's incredibly difficult to get rid of, and it's usually terminal.
Just keep fighting.
Anonymous said...
I can’t begin to imagine how it feels to loose someone to an evil entity, I know your mind is probably not in its healthiest state right now, but please try not to become swallowed in misery.
If I could be any help to you at all don’t hesitate to ask, I am always here for you to confide in.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times each and a million times over. I'll be the first to admit that this week was hard -- harder than it has been yet. Every day, especially on those days when I felt like I couldn't bear it one second longer, I'd read the comments on the previous post, and I'd feel monumentally better. It's one thing for Father Kelly or Detective Goldman to give me comfort or support -- it's kind of their job, and it's not like they can get away from me (that sounds bad, but you know what I mean. They're kind of obligated). But you guys don't have to be here. This is the internet. You don't have to listen to me bitch and whine. But you do, and then you tell me you're still here for me. That is amazing. That is simply fucking astounding to me. You guys are my angels. Don't ever doubt you are.
And if any of you need support from me, I'm happy to give whatever I can. I'm not sure whether my email is anywhere around here -- it's celeste.mclachlan at gmail. Thanks, guys.
Kite said...
Have you tried listening to Vampire Weekend? I'm personally a fan, and their energetic music keeps spirits up.Or maybe you'd like some anarcho Folk Punk. Johnny Hobo and the Freight Trains, and Wingnut Dishwasher's union are good bands too.
I haven't heard of any of those, but I'll give them a try. The name Vampire Weekend doesn't bring up the idea of fun, energetic music, but at this point, there are more important things not making sense. Thanks for the suggestions.
It's December 8th. Are you still there, Celie? Are you still with us?
My last post got a bunch of comments, and some of them were making suggestions and saying other fun and exciting things. I didn't want to make a huge comment in response (Don't comments have character limits? Oh, who cares?), so I figured I'd dedicate some of this post to going down the list.
Zeke Strahm said...
Nightmares...just another thing you live with in this line of existance. Bad part about it is, you get used to them. Good part is they eventually get less painful over time because of it.
I've never really been into the So-Cal stuff, myself. But the nightmares are more troubling. I'm already used to normal ones, but it's the fact that this feeling keeps cropping up randomly, in places it shouldn't be.
Granted my experience is with a different paranormal stalker I tend to call "Big Bad" but I think it works the same as SM.
The only resource you have to your disposal is the notebook. I would suggest starting there. It could hold invaluable information and clues.
A good protection spell I've learned to fight BB is to visualize yourself in a bubble. It sounds dumb but it's kept BB just out of reaching me more times than not.
Another way is to find a silver trinket, something that calls to you. Soak it in salt water, during a full moon would be best. Though you might have access to real holy water and that would work better than the salt water. Keep it on your person and it will protect you.
The key is that you need to believe for this to work to it's fullest.
Protect yourself and read the notebook.
Anon 1, you bring up some interesting ideas. I'm sorry to hear about your "Big Bad" (Way to be a dedicated troper, by the way. High five.); it looks like I'm finding more and more people in the same boat as I am, and I don't know about you, but it makes me feel a little warm-fuzzier to know that Vi and I aren't alone.
I know that the notebook is important somehow. I can feel it. But you guys have to understand...every time I even get close to that thing, every alarm in my head starts blaring. I feel that wrong feeling again, and I think about Logan Renault and what could happen if I saw the evidence of my best friend slowly losing a battle with our friend the Operator. Maybe I am supposed to look in it -- but I can't. Not yet, anyway. You guys have been so amazing...I just need you to be patient with this one.
I won't lie to you, Anon 1 -- Allie and I had a good giggle over your Bubble Method, and if Vi had been speaking to me at the time, I'm sure she would have as well. Be that as it may, it does sound promising. I'll share it with Vi and make sure she applies it as well as her Constant (yes, despite some evidence against it she's still carrying around that pen. She's made it into a necklace, actually).
I don't know about silver, but the rosary that Father Kelly gave me certainly calls to me at this point. Ever since I decided that it would be my Constant in the event that I suddenly find my world even more Slender than it is now, I've been keeping it on me, and I've gotten into the habit of sometimes playing with it when I'm bored or alone. As for soaking it in anything, I don't know about that, since it would probably weaken the string holding the beads together. Besides, it's a fucking rosary -- a saint medal and a crucifix and prayer beads. I don't think it's gonna get much holier, bro.
Also, I agree with the person who does not reveal his identity. There might be something important in that notebook, though it might be wise to settle down some, as you well know that things have been stressful.
~Luna
I think of it as having cancer- you'd didn't ask for it, it's incredibly difficult to get rid of, and it's usually terminal.
Just keep fighting.
If I could be any help to you at all don’t hesitate to ask, I am always here for you to confide in.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, a million times each and a million times over. I'll be the first to admit that this week was hard -- harder than it has been yet. Every day, especially on those days when I felt like I couldn't bear it one second longer, I'd read the comments on the previous post, and I'd feel monumentally better. It's one thing for Father Kelly or Detective Goldman to give me comfort or support -- it's kind of their job, and it's not like they can get away from me (that sounds bad, but you know what I mean. They're kind of obligated). But you guys don't have to be here. This is the internet. You don't have to listen to me bitch and whine. But you do, and then you tell me you're still here for me. That is amazing. That is simply fucking astounding to me. You guys are my angels. Don't ever doubt you are.
And if any of you need support from me, I'm happy to give whatever I can. I'm not sure whether my email is anywhere around here -- it's celeste.mclachlan at gmail. Thanks, guys.
I haven't heard of any of those, but I'll give them a try. The name Vampire Weekend doesn't bring up the idea of fun, energetic music, but at this point, there are more important things not making sense. Thanks for the suggestions.
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