Family Time

These kids need to stop growing. Right now.

I feel so old looking at them! They can talk and spell and shit! Brianna, the second oldest (and Desmond’s only stepdaughter), is even old enough to sass me now! I was putting away my cigarettes into my purse (what can I say? I’m a vice-fuelled individual) and she came right up to me in that sarcastic way that nine-year-old girls can do.

“What’s that?”

“Nothing,” I said. Then I used what usually worked on the kids: “Just some grown-up stuff.”

“You’re not a grown-up!” she giggled.

I shrugged. “I’m eighteen.”

“Then you’re not a grown-up. You’re a teenager,” she said. “When you’re twenty, then you’re a grown-up.”

I suddenly found myself resisting the urge to pick her up and shake her. (What?! It works on my laptop when I’m trying to get it to behave itself!)

Though, with most other things, I’m much more tolerant. It’s really weird, because even though I’ve never really been comfortable around kids—in fact, I wouldn’t say I even like them overmuch—things that normally annoy me about them are really endearing coming from my nieces and nephews.

Hayden, Desmond’s firstborn from his previous marriage (to a psycho-bitch named Pam; more on that later, maybe), is the oldest, if only by a few months. He and Brianna are both nine. Kayleigh, his second kid by Pam, is next, and she’s eight. Finally, there’s six-year-old Ashton, who is the child of Des and his current wife, the non-psychotic (hallelujah) Melanie.

I know it’s awful of me to say this, but Kayleigh, the eight-year-old, is definitely my favorite (see? Told you it was awful). She’s a quiet little thing, a bit tomboyish, but I see a lot of myself in her. She’s often drowned out by Bri’s constant obnoxious behavior, but I think that once she learns that she can have thoughts of her own, she’ll be a total rebel. I brought up to Mel that I can’t wait till that happens. As it turns out, she totally can wait, but I guess I’m biased because I don’t have to live with her. Or maybe I’m just really excited because I know I’m the one who’ll be the cool aunt.

Unfortunately, they’re not old enough yet to tell me apart from my sister. I’m constantly saying, “No, I’m Celie. She’s Nikki.” Today, I finally walked up to her and said, “They think I’m you. I don’t know who they think you are, but I’m you.”

I don’t think I’ve ever seen her laugh so hard. Smug bitch, taking credit for all my bonding. :P

I may not post tomorrow, but I almost certainly will Monday with a missing-kids update, if any updates are to be had.